Fake lovers on the net

Chief Inspector Sandra Epping has written short stories to protect children and young people from sexual abuse online.
Fake lovers on the net
Cybergrooming is a real threat to children and young people. Detective Inspector Sandra Epping is on the trail of the perpetrators.
Streife editorial team

The first great love. He sends big red hearts. She sends back big red hearts. So begins the supposed love story between two 13-year-olds via WhatsApp. It ends in horror, because she is a teenager - he is not. The "Cyber-Emotions" police project from the "Storytelling" series based on the Gütersloh model aims to protect children from sexual abuse online.

Pling. Another message from Nick. Blond gelled hair, green eyes that look deep and mysterious. He writes: "I've fallen in love with your profile picture." Marie can't believe her luck. Prince Charming dates inconspicuous girl with braces and pimples - her. Pling. Him again: She's pretty. Pling: He's never had such intense chat conversations with a girl before. Pling: She could have him forever ... Pling. Pling. Pling. All day, late into the night. That's how flirting works online - very simple, but also dangerous.

What is truth, what is fake? "Nobody can know in the virtual world," says Chief Inspector Sandra Epping (39) from Wesel. She wrote down Marie's story for crime prevention. A story that really happened. She only changed the girl's name. "Children are being given a smartphone with free internet access earlier and earlier. If the necessary media skills are not taught, children are at the mercy of the dangers of the internet," explains Epping. In "Marie", she tells the story of how Nick snuck into the girl's life, abused her trust and ultimately blackmailed her.

The story was created during the coronavirus pandemic, when many children were sitting alone in front of their tablets, computers and smartphones. The number of cases of child sexual abuse rose sharply in the Wesel district. "Many are too careless with images and data," says the chief inspector. In the meantime, "Marie" has been set to music. Lower school teachers use the short story for media education - not only in Wesel, but now throughout Germany.

"Cyber-Emotions" is the title Epping and her colleagues have given to the audio stories, which also include that of Tom - Marie's male counterpart, who is ambushed while gaming. Like Marie, he was a victim of "cybergrooming". This is the term used when perpetrators use fake profiles to chat up children and young people on Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat or in video games and then cleverly exploit their insecurities to obtain intimate pictures and videos from them.

Sandra Epping says: "Adults know what children and young people want to hear or read in their (pre-)pubertal phase. This is how they gain the trust of their victims. Photos of themselves online are very difficult to remove, just like tattoos. Once an image has been sent, control over it is lost."

A stranger is by no means a friend, no matter how beautiful his deep green eyes are. Marie knows that today. She had to pay bitterly for this insight. When Nick's request came, she simply pressed "Accept". Pling. After 14 days, Nick asked: "Can you send photos of yourself?" Pling. Marie sent him one. Months later, she testified to the police: they chatted for hours every day. He no longer seemed like a stranger to her. Pling. He was longing. Pling. He would love to meet her. Pling. But unfortunately he lives in Berlin. Pling. Pling. Pling. At some point Nick wanted to see more skin. Pling. Marie hesitated. Pling. Reproaches came: "Don't you love me anymore?" She was afraid of losing him.

The 8th grade of the Geschwister-Scholl comprehensive school in Moers. The pupils discuss Marie's crime prevention short story. The short story, which Epping read himself, lasts ten minutes - without background music. "This way, every child can empathize with Marie herself - with her fears, worries and hardships," says the detective superintendent. She hopes that one feeling remains after the story: "I never want to experience that myself."

Crime prevention stories based on the Gütersloh model served as a model for Marie and Tom. In these stories, men and women tell how they fell for scammers and fake police officers. The idea behind it: To convey messages through emotions. Epping already enjoyed writing when she was at school. She implemented the concept of crime prevention short stories for schools. After all, the interpretation of short stories is part of every secondary school curriculum. Guidelines have been drawn up for the short stories, which teachers can use as a guide when implementing the project in the classroom. The guidelines can be obtained from the crime prevention/victim protection office in Wesel or from the state prevention office. There are also free workshops and teaching materials for schools on the project.

According to studies by the NRW Media Authority, every fourth child receives dubious requests from admirers, as described in "Marie". Or they are promised credit cards, bonus points and other things if they expose themselves in front of the camera.

Pling. Marie finally granted Nick his wish: She took a selfie showing her in her bra. Pling. Suddenly the tone changed. Nick threatened: take it off or the photo will end up in the class group. The girls and boys at the Geschwister-Scholl comprehensive school are shocked. They rehearse the story. One pupil says: "Something like that has already happened to me." There is a sad chalk smiley on the blackboard. Next to it are buzzwords such as sexting and sextortion: the voluntary sending of revealing selfies and the blackmail that follows.

Pling. Marie's audio story has an open ending. Nick threatens, "Tomorrow, 4.30pm, I want to see you!" "What happened to Marie?" the pupils want to know. Then Sandra Epping explains: "Nick was a paedophile. Marie met him and was abused." When the girl came to the police weeks later with her parents, Epping was given the case and had to question Marie. Before her time in prevention, she was a caseworker for sexual offenses.

Panel discussions, parents' evenings, lectures in adult education, at clubs and associations and, of course, at schools - today her inbox is constantly full. Recently there was another project day at a grammar school in Wesel. Epping's course was immediately fully booked. At the end, the children wanted to know: How can we protect ourselves? Her tip is simple: "Do the granny check." In other words, only send pictures that your grandmother is allowed to see. And: Tell your parents if you are being hit on online. The police catch many fake offenders. Just like Nick. He got five years in prison.

Further Information

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